vintagecaptain | Open RP / PSL Post

“He’s bad at small talk,” Nat says laying her book over her chest as her eyes move between the men.

“Nat,” Clint says, more of a warning, because he’s getting tired of playing nice. He’s fine. He’s doing fine. Nat is encroaching on something that had been equally fine!

She ignores him, but uses both hands now to sign. “The card game is to distract you on purpose. Monopoly or Life or something simple works too. You know the rules already so you can work around the game while learning.”

“You don’t have to stay if we’re annoying you,” Clint grunts through his teeth, hands firmly in his lap.

“I can’t hear you,” she says, which is likely meant to be a tease but it sure sounds harsh.

What passes between them is a flurry of gestures. It’s rude, Clint would admit that, but Steve can probably figure out some of what’s going on, even if they’re using half ASL and half their own brand of best friend signs. Natasha keeps saying over and over that ‘this is a bad idea’ or something similar along with demanding Clint be more protective.

Steve puts his thumb and forefinger in his mouth and whistles sharp and loud. The sudden burst of noise is meant to get their attention and when he has it Steve's fully in Captain America mode.

"I don't know what's going on between you two," he says, looking between the two of them. "But whatever it is, we're gonna fix it. Lessons can wait."

No, there's no way they're getting through a lesson with the two of them sniping and insulting each other. Steve's in the middle of a fight. Not quite like when he and Tony fight but it's not good whatever it is.

"And I get the feeling whatever you two are fighting about has to do with me." He's not stupid. Maybe he's not as good at reading people as Nat but he's not stupid. Everything that's been going on and the timing? No, they're obviously fighting about something related to him.

"So, let's talk."

Clint looks like a deer in headlights for almost a full ten seconds as Natasha stands up in front of Steve. “Not everything is about you, Steve,” she says with an icy look. “But if you need to insert yourself, he asked me not to yell at him in front of you.”

She bends to pick up the book and Clint’s face softens. Natasha hadn’t been lying. That’s why her subterfuge is so good. She can tell a bit of truth and make it sound like the whole truth.

“So I’ll yell at him later. Thanks for the orange juice, Clint,” she says before turning to hug her friend fiercely. She loves him. She worried about him. She’s afraid for him. All of those things seep into Clint from her arms. “Behave yourselves boys. And watch who you whistle at, Cap.”

Clint deflates, grabbing for his beer, as the door closes. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Steve narrows his eyes. Yeah, it sounds like the truth. Nat's expression gives away nothing but that's what she's best at. What he's just seen plays against her words and Steve's gut says there's more. His trust in his teammates pushes against his gut instinct that tells him there's more.

"You'd kick my ass if it was that sort of whistle," he argues and his tone promises they're not done. His conversation with Natasha will happen later, probably on one of those early mornings run.

He watches her go, still suspicious of what exactly is going on between the two of them. What's going on with his team?

"Why do you think you have to apologize?" he asks, still very much the team leader trying to solve a problem.

Opening and closing his mouth, Clint rests his chin in his palm and covers his lips with his fingers. He actually has a lot to apologize for. He’s genuinely enjoyed his time with Steve as just two people. He feels seen and heard around him.

But he also knows that he probably isn’t playing fair and that Natasha may have a point about keeping him from pursing someone who just couldn’t be interested.

Groaning, Clint pulls his hand through his hair and stretches back, crossing his feet under the coffee table. “It’s embarrassing to fight with her like that. In front of you. Especially when you’re in Cap mode.”

"I'm in 'Cap mode' because you two are fighting." Which is hopefully obvious. He doesn't like it when the team fights. He does it with Tony and feels guilty after. He wants to lead this team well and make the Avengers work.

Steve's not judging about their fight. For these two there must be a good reason because they don't usually fight. They work things out on their own if they need to work anything out at all. He wants to help.

"Tell me what's going on," he urges, his expression a little hopeful. He wants to help fix things, especially since he suspects the whole thing is about him. Nat overplayed her hand when she came to talk to him.

Without that, he might have believed her.

With an arched eyebrow, Clint gazes straight at Steve. “Look. You and I are friends. And I respect you. But this is between me and Tasha. I can appreciate that you want to help and that you want to fix things, but demanding I tell you—. Nah man. That’s not cool.”

Clint takes another drink from his bottle, looking disappointed.

“Things are already fixed. She’s not mad at me. And I’m not mad at her. But she’s doing the same damn thing you are to be honest. I don’t have to do whatever you two tell me.”

He feels so disrespected on both fronts.

“I think you should go too.”

Edited 2023-01-27 10:08 (UTC)

"In a minute."

This is the hard part of being the leader. Steve has to balance his duty to the team with his friendships to the people in it. This is one of those moments that he has to make the call to push back against Clint. That's probably why he was chosen for this. He didn't like it, but it had to be done anyway.

"Here's how I see it." Because Clint should know what Steve's seeing. He should know how it looks to an outsider. Whether he cares about that or not is Clint's choice but it needs to be said. "I figure you and Nat have had your fair share of fights over the years. All friends to. I fought with Bucky a lot. The problem here is that I think you're fighting over me, possibly even over the time we're spending together."

Steve's not stupid. He can put two and two together. People forget because he's from the past and looks as innocent as a puppy that he's clever and he pays attention. The chessboard in front of him has some clear conclusions to draw.

"It's not about Nat's mission. I know the details of that. She comes back, though, and she talks to you. Because she always talks to you first. Whatever you two talk about makes her come to me. We talk, sure, but it's different. Nat's good but I know an interrogation when it happens. And she sure asked a lot of questions about what we did. Then I come here for this lesson, and you two start fighting in front of me. You two have never done that before. I trust you when you say you've fixed it but that still leaves me wondering what I did to put a rift between you two."

Steve's gaze is serious, focused, on Clint. He's not quite Captain America right now. He's sort of both. The leader of the team and the friend he thought he was becoming to Clint. "So, what I see is that I'm making a problem and that I can't fix that problem until I know the details. Unless the answer is to stop trying to get to know my teammates and put myself up in an office like Fury and never know you guys. I need you to talk to me, Clint. I need to know what I'm screwing up here."

He stands, setting the coffee mug on a coaster to make sure he doesn't damage the coffee table. "If you're not ready to talk about it now, that's fine. My door's open when you are. Or Nat. I'll give you some space to think it over."

This would have been so much better had Steve been attacking him with a knife. Clint could have at least tried to deflect it, but the sharpness of words are sudden and agility does nothing to stop their wounds. He can feel his body run hot and cold, one after the other.

He hadn’t wanted to feel this. He would have never, ever given voice to it even if he had wanted it. There had never been a sliver of hope for reciprocity. It had just been nice—

To what? Be delusional? Let himself live a fantasy where Steve Rogers and all of his insight meant more than just a leader trying to get to know his people? Clint reminds himself that this is all it is.

Obviously!

Steve just said it! He’s just trying to get to know his teammates. Natasha must not have believed him and given Steve the shovel talk (threatening the potential partner of your friend with death if they hurt them) without understanding the situation.

He should have never told her. He should have made it clear that it’s all just a one sided slog of personal agony. He should put a stop to this. What’s it matter if the talk comes today or tomorrow when Steve already has the pieces and can see through him?

Clint stands, hands in his pockets.

“You are a lovable idiot. And that’s the only problem,” Clint says, eyes lifted and chin lowered as Steve reaches his door. “You’re not screwing everything up. I am. I caught feelings, as the kids these days say. That’s not your fault. Nat’s just protecting me even though I’m the only on the hook for this. Man, is it ever a bad look. I’ve been known to do real stupid things…” Nah. He’s not putting that on poor Steve. “Lots of words just to say it’s not you. You’ve been perfect. And thank you so much for trying to get to know me before I fucked it up.”

That stops Steve at the door. He turns back to Clint with an adorably confused expression.

"Wait," he says as his ears turn pink at the tips. "This is because you have a crush on me?"

That is clearly the last thing Steve expected to hear. He thought maybe Nat was jealous? Or that his earlier comments on Clint's sexuality had made her angry. Or something. It never, ever occurred to him that it would be something like that.

"But I've been kind of a jerk to you. And I keep making you mad." He has said some pretty stupid things over the last few days and the times they've been having out. Frankly, Steve's been worried he's making his attempts at friendship worse. That's he's been doing this all wrong and that he should back off and let Clint be instead of trying to reach out.

That definitely stops him from leaving the room even if that's what Clint would prefer. "First, you didn't fuck things up." Look, he's swearing because it's important. "You're still a valuable member of this team and still someone I consider a friend. If anything, I thought I was fucking things up between us by stepping into your personal space. So, I guess we've both been idiots and Natasha's probably mad at us both."

Which would make a lot of sense for how she's treated him too.

"I guess my question is now, what do you want me to do?"

God damn it. Crush. It sounds awful. And seeing that look on Steve’s face, that ‘you poor thing’ embarrassed look? Clint’s not into it. His hands are sweating in his pockets, which is odd for him. His palms are usually bone dry, like he’s willed the sweat glands out of them.

And yet, there they are. Making it all worse. Every second is making it worse.

“Guess I like jerks,” Clint deadpans, swallowing down the hurt. “But now I guess I have to change jobs or something. Man. It was good, these last few days have been pretty fun.”

He’s not sure why he’s saying that. Steve’s gotten more out of him that most people and now it feels like it’s all so final.

“You should probably go. I have to work on my CV.”

"What? No." Steve actually steps towards him, coming further back into the room. "You're not off the team. You're not going anywhere."

Apparently, he's doing a terrible job leading right now. He's very confused as to why Clint thinks he needs to leave just because he developed feelings for Steve.

"I'm not mad. Confused, I guess," Steve explains. "I feel like I've been screwing up talking to you. Like I'm doing right now."

Because if Clint thinks he needs to leave the Avengers clearly Steve is saying something wrong. He doesn't quite get that Clint is embarrassed. He just thinks that he's said something wrong and it needs to be fixed. Clint's an incredibly valuable member of the team and Steve likes him as a friend. Now he has to wonder if he could like him as more but Steve's always taken awhile to catch feelings for someone.

Clint groans low, under his breath. “All right, I’ll stay until something better comes along,” he says, trying to inject a little humor or teasing into his voice. He is extremely sure it is not working. His hackles are up and he wants to climb out onto the roof and just frown at the city for awhile.

But he can’t right now. Because if he tries to, Steve will think he’s trying to off himself.

“Listen, Steve. Avenging isn’t a job. It’s a calling. I’m not leaving the team. Not really not anymore than anyone else does when the world doesn’t need saving. I don’t think you’re mad. I don’t really care that you’re confused. But I’m a little embarrassed and kind of pissed off that this had to happen. I really liked that you listened to me. I really liked that you saw me as something. I really need a minute to breathe here. Is that okay?”

"None of that changes," Steve reassures him. "None of it."

Steve will still listen. He still sees Clint as someone, not something but someone. He's not sure he'll be able to convince Clint of that but he will have to eventually.

Tonight is probably not a good time. Clint needs his space and this is as far as Steve can fix it.

"You can come talk to me when you're ready," he says with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. Then he turns and leaves so Clint can have his privacy. Nat might try to kill him later so he'll have to be on watch for that.

Open RP / PSL Post

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